Sunday, September 7, 2014

Something wrong...

I think something is wrong. Mentally wrong. I go to work and I feel like I'm in a haze the whole time. I come home and I feel hazy and tired. On weekends I'm really irritable and tend to snap at the kids. Caffeine gets me past the tired feeling, but not the haze.
Every time my wife tells me about another Derby event or practice, I get...angry? Of course it's another 3 to 4 hours of watching the kids by myself. Why wouldn't it be? Three times a week already I watch the kids, and I'm...lonely? That's the best way I can put it.
Maybe that's a big part of it. I'm lonely at work - working tasks alone, having spent the last 4 years of lunchtimes working classwork. I have no peers in age at work since Joe left. Then I go home and half the time I'm by myself watching the kids. And when my wife is home, we're dealing with the kids and house stuff till they're in bed, then we have to get ready ourselves and we're too tired to want to do anything.
I know that's not the whole issue - I'm too hazy all the time for it to be that. I was even a little hazy at DragonCon, when we were hanging with our friends and didn't have to worry about the kids. It's not a sleep thing either - I get 7 to 8 hours almost every night, and I've gotten less and more at different times, but I keep making excuses for my being tired.
I'm going to talk to a doctor. I hope I can get the help I need.

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